Season 1, Episode 5: "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date"

Original Airdate: 3/31/97

Can the Slayer date?

Buffy's got a crush on Owen- a cute boy picked up from 90210's central casting, who enjoys reading Emily Dickinson and is psyched about visiting a funeral home. I met some guys like that in high school. But they didn't look like Owen. They had ample forehead acne, greasy goth hair, and the particular brand of BO that comes from wearing a velvet overcoat in July. Owen manages to break through his sheepishness and asks Buffy out. 

Meanwhile, a prophecy's afoot. I'll let The Master lay it out for you: 

"There will be a time of crisis, of worlds hanging in the balance. And in this time shall come the Anointed, the Master's great warrior. And the Slayer will not know him, will not stop him. And he will lead her into Hell. As it is written, so shall it be. Five will die, and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise. The Brethren of Aurelius shall greet him, and usher him to his immortal destiny." Blah, blah, blah...                                                     

The rest of the episode is Buffy juggling between dating and slaying in classic Three's Company style: "Hey, you know where would be a fun place for a double date? The Sunnydale Funeral Home!" They succeed in taking down a tatted up vampire who they believe to be "The Anointed". 

For some reason, he yells "Frank and Beans" while he hunts. I guess he caught an early screening of There's Something About Mary?

In the end, Owen sees Buffy's dangerous life as a plus, and Buffy sees that as a minus. So she says goodbye. 

The closing shot reveals that The Anointed is not the ex-murderer hillbilly they defeated at the funeral home, but instead a creepy little kid (to be continued...). 

This episode is alright. It advances the season's story line and does a good job of showing Buffy struggling to be a normal teen while the fate of the world depends on her, but it's just kind of... boring. Kind of like Owen, himself- he's nice enough to look at, he's sweet, but how long can you talk about Emily Dickinson?

2/4 Mr. Pointy's

Most Dated Line/Reference: 
The line that ran in a 1000 promo's...
Buffy: "If the apocalypse comes, beep me."

Favorite Retro Fashion Moments: 

Buffy's Tiggerrific hoodie. PLUR, Buffy, PLUR

Cordelia's crimped hair and vamp lipstick.

Workout Summary: I'm a little fuzzy on the numbers because half-way through, my boobs hit the Emergency Stop lever and the treadmill reset. Yeah, that was fun. 
Approximately 2 miles on the treadmill; 350 calories slayed. 

"I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show."