Season 1, Episode 6: "The Pack"

Original Air Date: 4/7/97

Xander starts hanging with a new crowd, pictured here:

Remember how last episode ended on a cliffhanger? The Anointed, the one prophesied to drag the Slayer to Hell, rolled into town. So, clearly, the next episode would pick up there, and we'd learn what evil plot The Master has in store for Buffy, right?

Nope. We're going to take an unnecessary field trip to the zoo where the school bullies (plus Xander) get possessed by hyenas. That's right, hyenas. Ugh. I put the treadmill on full incline because this episode is a fucking climb.

Sometimes BTVS artfully draws the comparison between the pain of adolescence and supernatural forces (see, "The Witch") and, sometimes, it hits you right over the head with it. We get it--in high school, the strong prey on the weak.

After getting hyena-fied, Xander and his new buds go menacing 'round town, growling and laughing, handing out tired insults like telling an overweight guy "Shouldn't you be hovering over the football stadium with Good Year written on you?" (fellow chubs know that kids have way more creative fat kid insults than that). And just in case anyone watching hasn't picked up on the metaphor yet, let's throw some dodge balls at this dead horse. At the worst points, Xander is painfully cruel to Willow and a little rape-y to Buffy (yeesh). Oh, and the pack also eats the school mascot and the principal. Fun.

R.I.P. Herbert and Principal Flutey

He's psyching up for a Cowboys game.

We ultimately find out that the possession was cooked up by a creepy zookeeper, played by a William Hurt look-alike (we'll call him William Slightly Injured). After losing his hyena spirit, Xander redeems himself by taking down William Slightly Injured before he can sacrifice Willow. And then everything goes back to normal.


Below is an artist's rendering of me after today's workout:

0/4 Mr. Pointy's.

Most Dated Line/Reference:
Buffy (about Xander): "It's safe to say that, in his animal state, his idea of wooing doesn't involve a Yanni CD and a bottle of Chianti."

Yeah, I hope it doesn't in his human state, either. What high school sophomore is turned on by melodic keyboards and dry wine?

Favorite Retro Fashion Moment: 

Pink Satin Oriental-Inspired Mini, Pin-up Baby-Doll Tee, and Boots

Topped off with a Beanie, Alex Mack style. 

Workout Summary: 1.6 miles on inclined treadmill; 380 calories slayed.